Sports Love & family

Learning Life's Lessons through Sports

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It Takes a Village

People ask us all the time, how we do it? How do we have three kids play sports in the same season (oh, and by the way, work full time jobs)? My answer is always the same, it takes a village. Number one, we wouldn’t be able to do it all if Todd wasn’t a teacher and if I didn’t have a fairly flexible schedule. Number two and most important, we couldn’t do it without our amazing friends and parents.

This week we had our first conflict of the season. All three kids had games. If you’ve been following along you know this is my most dreaded part of having multiple multi-sport athletes. There’s just no way to be at everything (And I hate missing anything). I spent a few minutes the night before sending out coordinating texts to make sure I had rides in place to get my kids where they needed to be. The oldest is taken care of because Todd coaches his team. A neighbor plays on our daughter’s team, so they took her. Now, to worry about that third child! I couldn’t get out of work earlier enough to get him to his field by 5:15, so he went home from school with a friend (who happens to be the head coach’s kid) and he brought him to the game.

Great, everyone is situated, now I have to figure out where I’m going. I try to be fair, so this means I have to look at the schedule and the impending conflicts. Over the weekend I saw my daughter play 3 games and only saw 1 of my youngest’s. Decision made, Mom goes with the third child this time, next she goes with the girl!

So that’s it, our big secret on how we do it, revealed! We’re fortunate to have parents who live close whom come and watch when they can or when we need them. We’re lucky to have surrounded ourselves with great neighbors and friends whom are always willing to help us out. Without each of them we couldn’t do it all. If you’re reading this and you’re a member of our village, thank you from the bottom of my heart. We appreciate you more than you will ever know!

How do you do it all? Let us know in the comments.


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Do You Micro Manage?

Do you like to be micro-managed? Well, I certainly don’t! And I’m pretty sure our kids don’t either. I had a situation where I was being micro-managed. It made me feel like the person didn’t trust me and they felt the need to “watch over” me. Is this what many of us are doing to our kids? I get it, I get it, I know it’s sometimes easier, but we are ruining our children by doing everything for them, or by watching every little thing they do!

Oh, trust me, I don’t have all the answers to this one. But, I do know how I felt when it happened to me, and it made me think; “Is this what I do to my kids?” A micro manager by definition is a boss or manager who gives excessive supervision to employees. A micro manager, rather than telling an employee what task needs to be accomplished and by when, will watch the employee’s actions closely and provide frequent criticism of the employee’s work and processes (this is from investopedia.com, but for a more accurate depiction, check out the urban dictionary’s definition, ha, ha). But, I digress, is this what our generation is doing to our children!? Do we give excessive supervision to our kids? Do we not tell them what to do, but instead watch them closely and criticize?

I know, I for one, don’t allow my children to do things that I was freely allowed to do at their ages. My excuse always is, “the world is a different place”, but is this really true? I do agree things are different and there’s been more research done to prove certain things (ie, carseat safety, etc.), but are we making our children incapable to do things on their own? In our house we always talk about problem solving. Our kids are really not good at it, is our fault because we micro manage most of their life?

I’m not writing this to give you answers, because, clearly I don’t have them and this situation got me thinking. I’m hoping this gets you thinking too. It is important to allow our kids to do things for themselves, make mistakes and learn from them while still keeping them safe. Letting them do this in long run will only help them achieve success.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how your handling micro managing in your house. Leave us a comment below.


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They’re Watching

Pretend you’re somewhere between 8-12 years old. Who do you look up to? Maybe a professional athlete or super hero? Now, picture yourself as a high school kid? You’re probably wrapped up in thoughts of yourself and what the new cool thing to do is.

Not all high schoolers are like that. Some are selfless and kind and are just great human beings. We are blessed to know a few of these kids. We mostly know them through baseball and other sports our kids play. These are the kids who come spend time with the 8-12 year olds. These are the kids that understand what its like to look up to older kids. They take the time to say hello or give a high five.

Yes, my kids idolize professional athletes, but they also look at high school athletes like they are celebrities too. If you’re a parent of a high schooler, remind your child that someone looks up to them. Remind them that their actions are not only being scrutinized by their peers but by those little ones that see them in the neighborhood or on the ballfield. Remind them that they too were young once and looked up to a high school kid. If just one high school kid can give a moment of their time to a younger kid, I think it could have a huge impact on the future. Making positive connections with others in life can be so important.

It’s one thing for us parents to teach our children life lessons, but it’s an absolute game changer if that life lesson is taught by an older kid.


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Save the Drama for Someone Else’s Mama

WARNING! Rant ahead…

High school ended 20 years ago for me, however sometimes being involved in youth sports makes me feel like I’m right back there. I’m not talking about the “passion” that parents have when their kids are involved. I’m referring to the unnecessary “noise” that some parents partake in. In high school I never really understood it, but I knew teenagers were immature. In my adulthood, I have an even harder time grasping the concept. I don’t understand what has ever come of talking about people or situations to other people (the one’s not involved). It’s called gossip; the actual definition is casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. This is constantly happening in the bleachers, in restaurants, on the streets, everywhere, and it needs to stop. What kind of example are we to our children by continuing this trend?

What’s got me so worked up?

I was recently approached by a parent whom wanted to confront me on rumors they had heard. While I appreciate being confronted so they could hear the truth, I’m saddened by this turn of events. I’m sad this person believed what they had been told. I can’t help the things people make up or say about other people, but I can control my own actions and be true to myself. I was also angry with those other people and the untrue messages they were putting out there. The messages were put out with the sole intent of creating drama. I try and steer clear of it, but on almost every team there’s one or two people who love the drama. If you’re one of these people, you need to stop. You need to find something better to do with your time other than gossiping about people you know.

How do we fix this?

It’s like bullying. We talk to our kids about how to handle bullies. Adults need to do the same thing. The way to quell this is to not participate in it. If you do get caught in it, seek out the truth (like this parent did) but let it end there.


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5 Tips for Starting the New Season Right

For us mid-westerners the start of baseball season has just begun. For my family it’s the best time of year! No matter the season you are about to start or have just began we compiled this list to help you start this season on the right track (see this post for items you’ll need).

  1. Get Organized! I just spent a half hour putting all my kids games into an excel spreadsheet so that I can see how many games we have on any given day. I have three kids, so I get three schedules, this is a way for me to see all of them in one.  Typically, once the spreadsheet is made, the games get entered into the kids shared calendar, which is shared with the kids and grandparents.
  2. Organize the Uni’s! I spent time this weekend putting together everyone’s uniforms in the designated uniform bag in the laundry room. I suggest doing this so there’s no question of “Where’s my ____?” It doesn’t alleviate all of our problems, but everyone knows after I wash uniforms where they should be. For instance, for this baseball season each boy needs, pants, jersey, socks, stirrups, belt and hat. That’s a lot of items to keep track of! Designating a space for them to be helps when crunched for time.img_5230.jpg
  3. Start Meal Preps! Meal prepping for the week is key. I sit down on Sunday’s and make out a schedule of meals for the week. If I have time, I grocery shop for only those items, if not, I sometimes have our groceries delivered (best thing for working moms!) Planning meals for the week keeps us on budget and healthier. It’s hard to do, but I’m always glad I did! I also depend on meals prepared in my Instant Pot LUX60V3 V3 6 Qt 6-in-1 Muti-Use Programmable Pressure Cooker, Slow Cooker, Rice Cooker, Sauté, Steamer, and Warmer, check it out if you haven’t already! Sometimes if we’re lazy we’ll make a lot of one meal and eat it for two meals! One year heading into baseball season I had a freezer meal party. It was fun and super helpful having a week’s worth of food prepared already!FreezerMeals
  4. Make Introductions. I’m a people-person, so for me, the beginning of a new season means meeting new people. Even if you’re not a people-person, I think it’s important to introduce yourself to the coaching staff and the parents of other players. Some of the greatest friendships we’ve made have come from the sports our children play. I’m not saying you have to be best friends with everyone, but knowing what parent belongs to what player just makes sense. If you’re a Team Manager or Team Parent, arrange a get together before the season. It’s always nice to meet or hang out with other parents when you’re not trying to get the best bleacher seat. Also, make a roster with kids’ names and numbers for parents, this way everyone learns the kids names easily.
  5. Remember to Enjoy it! I know when you’re running each kid here and there and when there’s not enough time to catch your breath the last thing you want to do is be grateful for this time. But, please remember to take a moment and be thankful. This phase of life is brief, so we need to stop and enjoy it. We also need to be grateful that our children have the ability to do all their activities! I know I’m not sure what my life will be like when I don’t have my kids’ sports to attend 😦

I hope this list helps you get a good jump on the new season ahead! We’d love to hear from you and how you prepare for the next sports season, leave us a comment below.


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Soak Up the Down Time

We believe in having our kids play as many sports as possible for as long as possible. Each of our kids play multiple sports. We’ve been told playing three sports in high school is virtually impossible, so we’re encouraging them to be multi-sport athletes now. Not only are there health benefits to this, but there’s a special time in between, it’s that precious time off during the transition from one sport to another.

Let’s face it, we schedule and overschedule our children. They are constantly on the go. So, when it comes time to transition from one sport to another we typically get 1-2 weeks off. For our family those weeks are precious…but they are also a curse!

Our kids need time to be just kids. To play outside with friends and even to play some video games. But, too much time in our household isn’t a good thing either! More time together also means more arguing! I guess that’s part of growing up too!

So, why is this a blog post? Well, transitions are part of life, and learning about life through sports is what we’re all about. I wanted to bring attention to this special time because as a family we feel it’s an important time. While each kid can learn valuable lessons on the field or court, the entire family can learn about life in the transition time.

We all know life flies by, so when we have these moments of pause, we need to do just that. Stop running from place to place. Put down our devices. These transitions are built into our lives so that we can take that time to recharge. We can take this time to reconnect with each other. We can take the time to appreciate all that we have.

So, if you’re like our family and have a hard time with the downtime during a transition, try to embrace it. Enjoy watching your kids play with their friends. Sit back as the arguments begin and then be grateful for the devices as they provide peace for everyone after. Embrace some quality family time or one on one time. And remember, these moments of good and bad won’t last forever so make the most of these times!


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Are You Prepared? 5 Sports Parent Essentials

These are the top 5 items that we love and believe are essential to get you through any sports season. Click on the pictures to see the reviews and get more information.

Instant Pot – Yes, we were not believers in the beginning either. The reviews couldn’t be true. Well, now we are believers in this 7-in-1 multi-functional cooker–pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, saute/browning, yogurt maker, steamer & warmer. It is such a time saver and it’s ease of use for practice or game day make it a must have for all sports parents.

Bleacher Chair – Bleachers might be the worst place to have to spend a couple of hours sitting. This bleacher chair has been the savior. I get so many compliments and questions about it. I love the fact that you can wear it as a back pack to free up your hands and once you open it there are arm rests.

Baseball|Soccer Chair – Everyone needs a good chair. I know, you can get a chair anywhere. This one is no ordinary chair because it has lasted for years. We used to go through a chair a year before we purchased this one. This chair is sturdy, comfortable and even has a drink holder for my Yeti.


Yeti Drink Tumbler – Most sports parents need their morning coffee for those early morning games just to wake up. On the other side of that there are those 90 degree summer weekend double headers. This Yeti product is amazing because it can handle both.

All Terrain Wagon – Is there any sports parent who doesn’t haul a bunch of stuff to the games? Multiple kids, a million things to carry, and the parking lot is a mile away from the field. Having a wagon like this one is a great way to save trips to the car and save your back. I’ve even seen little ones napping in these. The all-terrain wheels make this a perfect choice to take to games, over grass, and even the beach.


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5 Things to Say After a Tough Loss

Recently, we had a soccer game where my son played goalie and it was a rough game. The other team was way more physical than us and they outscored us 4-0. Being the goalie he takes each of those as his fault or that he let his team down. I appreciate his team-player attitude but it breaks my heart when he takes all those goals as his own mistakes. Some goals will be your fault with mis-judgement, some goals will be because your defenders weren’t completely doing their job. And some goals will be given up because, simply, they were good shots.

I sat there as time ticked down thinking of what I could say to him after the game. We’ve always told our kids we’ll be honest with them, so you’ll never hear us say “good game”, if it wasn’t. He played ok, but those aren’t the best words of encouragement. Here’s the list of things I thought I could say that were honest and hopefully still supporting and encouraging.

  1. Admit it was a tough game to them and let them know they tried their best. “Tough game, huh buddy? I know you did your best out there.”
  2. Tell them you’re proud of them, no matter what. “I’m really proud of how you handled a tough a situation.”
  3. Praise specific effort or skills they displayed. “You did a great job communicating with your defenders today.”
  4. Acknowledge their disappointment. “I know you’re disappointed and that’s ok. Be upset for a little bit and then move on from it.”
  5. The most important one, tell them you love watching them, no matter what. “I just love watching you do what you love, win or lose.”

I hope this list helps you the next time your child has a tough game! I know I’ll be looking at this again! Let me know if there are other things you say to your kids.


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Book Review: What Made Maddy Run

When I was told I need to read this book I wasn’t too sure what it was about. I was told that it was about the pressure put on kids in sports, so, of course I was interested. But, the book was so much more than that.

I’m not going to lie, it was difficult to get through. Maybe it’s just me, but I have trouble reading non fiction books. I read to escape everyday life, so reading about something real is difficult. Reading about something that hits home is doubly difficult! Let me give you a little background.

Maddy was an all American girl that appeared on the surface to have it all. I say it appears to be that way because we can’t deny she had mental health issues. I think the misconception with mental health is that people don’t realize it can happen at any time in your life. For years, Maddy seemed to have it all. She was beautiful, got good grades and was a tremendous athlete. Towards the end of her high school career she was being sought after by numerous colleges for soccer and track. Every athletes dream and hers as well.

Ultimately, Maddy chose to run track at the University of Pennsylvania. The book focuses a lot on the fact that Maddy wasn’t sure if this was the right decision. She was debating this choice or going to LeHigh for soccer. The book makes you think that these choices could have potentially impacted the outcome. I’m going to tell you, either choice would’ve ended the same. Maddy was the type of kid that needed and longed for perfection. She needed to be the perfect student, the perfect athlete and the perfect friend. She was so consumed with this ideal of perfection that she didn’t live in reality.

Another theme throughout the book was Maddy’s social media accounts and in general teenager’s use of them and not being able to separate screen life and real life. If your mental health is questionable the lines between the two are very blurry. Even if your mental health is in check, those lines can still be blurry. I talk to my kids all the time about surface-level friendship. Most of social media is that way. You truly don’t know the person behind the pictures. It is so important to have deeper relationships with people. So, that if there’s an issue, they’ll know and they can try to help you. I’m not saying that Maddy’s friends could’ve helped her, but I do know they didn’t think things were that bad. A lot of the onus lives with Maddy on that one. She was really good at keeping things from those closest to her…and that’s the truly scary part.

To wrap up, here are my thoughts and I’d love to hear from you if you read this book. Somehow we need to change the conversation about perfection. It’s absolutely unattainable and whether you or someone else puts that pressure on you to be that way, its wrong and needs to change. As parents, this conversation begins with us at home. This book has helped me with the conversations I’ll have with my kids moving forward.

If you’re interested in reading the book click the image below.
 (affil)


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Winning isn’t Everything

I have three kids that play sports, so inevitably I can’t always be at every game. Though, this kills me, its virtually impossible to be everywhere. So, after a game I wasn’t at, I usually ask the kids how it went.

Our first instinct is to ask “Did you win?” As parents we need to reset this expectation. Asking an innocent question like that puts too much emphasis on the wins and losses. We need to remember what the goal is, player development, learning the sport and having fun. Asking more specific questions such as “What did you learn today?” “Did you work on [fill in skill here] today?” Or even asking more vague questions like “Did you work hard today?” “How did it go today?” “Did you have fun?” can change the expectation that winning is all we care about.

If we change the way we have the conversation then we’ll start changing the expectation. Learning life’s lessons through sports doesn’t always have to be through wins and losses.